By Ustaz Nufail Rahman
Bismillah.
As human, it is normal for us to feel sad and disappointed over what has happened. Unlike some people, our past and histories, may not be all sunshine and rainbows. Mistakes and obstacles are inevitable as they may come without warning. Nonetheless, we have to bear in mind that whatever befalls us is not by mistake as was reminded by our Prophet’s companions in a good (hasan) narration: –
..وَتَعْلَمَ أَنَّ مَا أَصَابَكَ لَمْ يَكُنْ لِيُخْطِئَكَ وَأَنَّ مَا أَخْطَأَكَ لَمْ يَكُنْ لِيُصِيبَكَ
“..and know that what has afflicted you could not be avoided, and what did not come to you could never be attained..” (1)
What has passed in our lives can never be retracted, but what is more important is how we approach the matter: –
- First and foremost, we have to remind ourselves that believing in the Qadar or the Divine Decree is part of our 6 pillars of Faith, and the fact that the religion puts it in our final belief, it serves as a signal that He truly knows what He is doing and there is no mistake, right from the start of any creation of His. Hence that is why we should always have faith in Him and His decree, be they good or bad, up till our last breath. (2)
In a hadith by Jabir Bin ‘Abdillah (may Allah be pleased with him), as narrated by Al-Imam Muslim, and others, he said that he heard Allah’s apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying three days before his death: –
لَا يَمُوتَنَّ أَحَدُكُمْ إِلَّا وَهُوَ يُحْسِنُ الظَّنَّ بِاللَّه
“None of you should court death but only hoping good from Allah.” (3)
- Subsequently, to believe that there is a reason and/or wisdom to everything that happens (4), and that Allah truly knows what is ultimately good for us, without transcending more than what we can handle. Allah mentions: –
لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا ۚ
“Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.” (5)
..and He reminded us in another verse: –
وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you, and Allah Knows, while you know not.” (6)
- Third is be thankful for several reasons: –
- If we were to realise a mistake, then be thankful that Allah made you feel remorseful over that matter, for this mistake will definitely be a lesson for you to be more careful in the future. Remember this Prophetic narration: –
إِنَّ عِظَمَ الْجَزَاءِ مَعَ عِظَمِ الْبَلاَءِ وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ إِذَا أَحَبَّ قَوْمًا ابْتَلاَهُمْ فَمَنْ رَضِيَ فَلَهُ الرِّضَا وَمَنْ سَخِطَ فَلَهُ السَّخَطُ
“The magnitude of the reward goes along with the magnitude of the affliction, and Verily, when Allah loves a people, He afflicts them. So those who accept it gladly, for them is His good pleasure, and those who are displeased, for them is His displeasure.” (7)
- If we were to receive a punishment for the mistakes we made, then be thankful too, for that may be a sign of Allah’s love for you. Our Prophet reminded us in a beautiful narration: –
إِذَا أَرَادَ اللَّهُ بِعَبْدِهِ الْخَيْرَ عَجَّلَ لَهُ الْعُقُوبَةَ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَإِذَا أَرَادَ اللَّهُ بِعَبْدِهِ الشَّرَّ أَمْسَكَ عَنْهُ بِذَنْبِهِ حَتَّى يُوَفَّى بِهِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ
“When Allah wants good for his slave, He hastens his punishment in the world, and when He wants bad for His slave, He withholds his sins from him until he appears before Him on the Day of Judgement” (8)
- If we think that our test is hard enough, then look at other people having an even harder and complicated issues to grapple with. Our Prophet reminded us: –
انْظُرُوا إِلَى مَنْ أَسْفَلَ مِنْكُمْ وَلاَ تَنْظُرُوا إِلَى مَنْ هُوَ فَوْقَكُمْ فَهُوَ أَجْدَرُ أَنْ لاَ تَزْدَرُوا نِعْمَةَ اللَّهِ
“Look at those who are inferior to you and do not look at those who are superior to you, for this will keep you from belittling Allah’s favour to you.” (10)
In line with this, our Prophet taught us a supplication to be uttered by one ownself without the one afflicted with the test, hears: –
الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي عَافَانِي مِمَّا ابْتَلاَكَ بِهِ وَفَضَّلَنِي عَلَى كَثِيرٍ مِمَّنْ خَلَقَ تَفْضِيلاً
“All praise is due to Allah who saved me from that which He has afflicted you with,
and blessed me greatly over many of those whom He has created.” (11)
- Fourth is for us to remind ourselves to not predict how things would have turned out with all the ‘if(s)’ possibilities.
الْمُؤْمِنُ الْقَوِيُّ خَيْرٌ وَأَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِ الضَّعِيفِ وَفِي كُلٍّ خَيْرٌ، احْرِصْ عَلَى مَا يَنْفَعُكَ وَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللَّهِ وَلاَ تَعْجِزْ وَإِنْ أَصَابَكَ شَىْءٌ فَلاَ تَقُلْ لَوْ أَنِّي فَعَلْتُ كَانَ كَذَا وَكَذَا . وَلَكِنْ قُلْ: قَدَرُ اللَّهِ وَمَا شَاءَ فَعَلَ، فَإِنَّ لَوْ تَفْتَحُ عَمَلَ الشَّيْطَانِ
“A believer who is strong (and healthy) is better and dearer to Allah than the weak believer, though there is goodness in both of them. Be keen on what benefits you and seek help from Allah, and do not give up. If anything afflicts you, do not say, “If I had done such and such things, such and such would have happened.” Instead, say: Allah decrees and what He wills He does, for (the utterance) ‘If I had’ provides an opening for the deeds of the devil.” (13)
- Fifth is for us to reflect upon our previous acts for that may just be the reason to our tests at present. Allah mentions: –
وَمَا أَصَابَكُم مِّن مُّصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُو عَن كَثِيرٍ
“And whatever strikes you of disaster – it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much.” (14)
- Finally, if all hopes are lost, it is best to not curse the time itself for it will only bring more displeasure to Him as mentioned in a Hadith Qudsi (15): –
قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، قَالَ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى
يُؤْذِينِي ابْنُ آدَمَ، يَسُبُّ الدَّهْرَ وَأَنَا الدَّهْرُ، بِيَدِي الأَمْرُ، أُقَلِّبُ اللَّيْلَ وَالنَّهَارَ
“The Prophet (may peace be upon him) said, “Allah The Exalted said:
“The son of Adam hurts Me by abusing Time, for I am The Time;
(for) in My Hand are all things and I cause the revolution of night and day.” (16)
Instead, make a supplication (17) to Him by saying the following as taught by our Prophet: –
إِنّا للهِ وَإِنَا إِلَـيْهِ راجِعـون، اللهُـمِّ اْجُـرْني في مُصـيبَتي، وَأَخْلِـفْ لي خَيْـراً مِنْـها
“Verily we are from Allah and unto Him we return.
O Allah take me out of my plight and bring to me after it something better.” (18)
اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّي عَبْـدُكَ وَابْنُ عَبْـدِك وابْنُ أَمَتِـكَ، نَاصِيَتِي بِيَـدِكَ، مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤُكَ، أَسْأَلُـكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ، سَمَّـيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ، أَوْ عَلَّمْـتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِـكَ، أوْ أَنْزَلْتَـهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ، أَوِ اسْتَـأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الغَيْـبِ عِنْـدَكَ؛ أَنْ تَجْـعَلَ القُرْآنَ رَبِيـعَ قَلْبِـي وَنُورَ صَـدْرِي وجَلَاءَ حُـزْنِي وذَهَابَ هَمِّـي
“O Allah, I am Your servant, and the son of Your servant, and the son of your female servant. My forelock is in Your Hand. Your Judgment upon me is assured, and Your Decree concerning me is just. I ask You by every Name that You have named Yourself with, or You had taught to any one of Your creation, or revealed in Your Book, or kept unto Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You; to make the Qur’an the spring of my heart,
and the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness, and the reliever of my distress.” (19)
اللّهُـمَّ إِنِّي أَعْوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَـمِّ وَ الْحَـزَنِ، والعَجْـزِ والكَسَلِ، والجُـبْنِ والبُخْـلِ، وضَلَـعِ الـدَّيْنِ وغَلَبَـةِ الرِّجالِ
“O Allah, I seek refuge in You from the grief and sadness, (from) the weakness and laziness, (from) the miserliness and cowardice, (and from) being overcome by debt and overpowered by men (i.e. others).” (20)
اللّهُـمَّ رَحْمَتَـكَ أَرْجـو فَلا تَكِلْـني إِلى نَفْـسي طَـرْفَةَ عَـيْنٍ، وَأَصْلِـحْ لي شَأْنـِي كُلَّـه، لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أنْـتَ
“O Allah, Your mercy is what I hoped for. Do not leave me to myself even for the blink of an eye, and correct all of my affairs for me, (for) there is none worthy of worship but You.” (21)
May this be of benefit.
Wallahu a’lam.
Reference:
[1] Narrated by Ahmad 2/ 182 and 185, Abi Daud: 4699 (See also: 4700), Ibn Majah: 77, and others; all through the same chain by Abi Sinaan Sa’eed Bin Sinaan, by Wahb Bin Khalid, by Ibn Al-Daylami (Abdullah Bin Fairuz).. This narration is being traced to the 3 companions (mauquf) namely Ubay Bin Ka’b, Abdullah Bin Mas’ud and Hudzaifah Bin Al-Yaman, and was only traced to the Prophet (Marfu’) by Zayd Bin Thaabit (May Allah be pleased with them all).
[2] i.e: Having good thoughts of Him The Almighty
[3] Narrated by Muslim: 2877, Abi Daud: 3113 and Ibn Majah: 4167
[4] Such as it being an expiation to the sins we had committed, or it being a test to raise our ranks in His eyes etc. [1]
[5] QS 2(Al-Baqarah): 286
[6] QS 2(Al-Baqarah): 216
[7] Narrated by Al-Tirmidzi: 2396 and Ibn Majah: 4031
[8] Narrated by Al-Tirmidzi: 2396
[9] Financially and/or physically (Refer: Al-Bukhari: 6490)
[10] Narrated by Muslim 2963
[11] Narrated by Al-Tirmidzi: 3432
[12] In another narration (Ibn Majah: 79): Qaddarallahu.. (قَدَّرَ اللهُ..)
[13] Narrated by Muslim: 2664
[14] QS 42 (Asy-Syuura): 30
[15] Hadith Qudsi is a sacred narration attributed to Allah by the Prophet.
[16] Muttafaq ‘alaih; narrated by Al-Bukhari: 4826 and 7491, and Muslim: 2246
[17] Taking into account 3 important aspects namely (1) The condition (syurut) of the suppliant, (2) Things that may hinder (Mawaani’) the supplications from being accepted, and (3) The etiquettes in supplicating to Him.
[18] Narrated by Ahmad: 6/309, Muslim: 918
[19] Narrated by Ahmad: 1/ 391 and 452, Al-Hakim: 1/ 509 and Ibn Abi Syaibah: 10/ 253.
[20] Narrated by Al-Bukhari: 2893, 5425, 6363 and 6369.
[21] Narrated by Ahmad: 5/ 42 and Abi Daud: 5090